Almost 90 days now smoke free.

I was going to buy myself a guitar for a reward for making 90 days without a smoke. Instead I bought myself a professional membership in a society related to my day job and career.

Finally one day nicotine free and it's now near the end of day 3.

I quit smoking on September 18th at 9:44 PM. I went on nicotine replacement therapy. On November 20th at 1:00 AM I went off nicotine replacement therapy.

I attended a Step 8 workshop today.

The step 8 workshop went well and I explored this step with others from my 12 step group.

How I quit smoking with about 7 proven techniques on day 1. It's day 50 today.

I am just stepping down now to the step 3 nicotine replacement therapy patch of 7 mg dose of nicotine. I now have two weeks ahead of wearing this strength patch. Then I go nicotine free. I have 7 weeks now of not smoking. Today is day 50 smoke free.

I used these techniques on day 1
1. Nicotine replacement patches
2. Nicotine gum
3. Nicotine anonymous online meetings
4. Lessons from previous quit attempts like no coffee in the morning on day 1 as that was how I failed last time
5. Smokers help line 1-877-513-5333 quit coaches
6. Alan Carr’s book Quitting Smoking the Easy Way that explained the physical part is really not as bad as it seems.
7. I was studying an online Buddhist mediation course and mindfulness breathing really helped.

I did not smoke for one month now.

I made it to 30 days smoke free with help from nicotine anonymous online meetings and using nicotine replacement therapy.

It's now day 5 of quitting smoking.

I managed to see my general practitioner and get a fairly clean bill of health with nothing serious. Today is day 5 of not smoking. I have been rewarding myself with fancy coffees some days. I see all these chances to smoke I used to use. All this time it would take to smoke between environments that are non-smoking like buses and doctor's offices. These are minor triggers to smoking again. They are not as bad as the cravings though. I seem to be going okay now. For nicotine replacement therapy, I am using fewer gum pieces but still using the patches. I intend to use the stronger step 1 patches for three weeks then go to the step 2 patches. I have purchased a supply of all this nicotine replacement therapy.

It's now day 3. I have quit smoking for 2 whole days now.

I have managed to not smoke for 2 whole days now.

I made the first 24 hours and it is now day 2 with quitting smoking.

I managed to wear a nicotine replacement patch for 24 hours and just applied a new one. I actually applied the first one to my left upper arm at 10:29 PM Friday evening and took it off and applied a second one to my right upper arm at 9:00 PM on Saturday.

I had a really bad craving mid-day where in the past I would have smoked. The thoughts that happened in the past would be like this, "I will just have one, then go for another 18 hours without, and then have another one. Addictions don't work this way and today I did not have one when that brutal craving happened. Instead, I rode it out today figuring it would become less intense in a limited and small amount of time, which it did.

Quiting smoking is my immediate goal.

I have both nicotine replacement patches and nicotine replacement gum and am using both to attempt to quit smoking. I have been smoke free now just about 13 hours. I am fairly determined this time and not too doubtful. I am thinking fairly clearly and realizing clearly how to overcome cravings.

I received a ten years of volunteering certificate from the Deputy Chief of Police tonight.

One of the ways I give back for my successful recovery is by volunteering. I have been volunteering now for almost 12 years for one community group that provides social services in our city. Tonight we had our annual general meeting and were handed out certificates for volunteering. Some front line workers and professionals and an academic gave a panel in our area of service. The Deputy Chief of Police gave a speech on the same topic too. I may have spent 35$ to win a silent auction item.

Volunteering on a hiring commitee in peer support

I am reviewing resumes this weekend and ranking them according to levels of experience the candidates have in peer support. Mostly we are looking for people who have been there and can share that experience to help others. Also they need to be able to empower others. I do this as a volunteer job. It certainly gives me something to put on my resume.

I made 90 days before slipping and borrowing from a new overdraft.

I made 90 days of no new debt before slipping. A bank offered me an overdraft which I had planned would refinance some high interest debt. Instead I borrowed from the overdraft to pay a bill or two and get daily living expenses covered and my cigarette habit supplied. I may even use this to buy a mandolin from a used musical instrument store. I also bought nicotine replacement therapy gums and am again trying to quit smoking. I just set up an automatic transfer from my main chequing account to this overdrawn account, so it gets paid off in 90 days.

Day 89 of no new debt

I have reached day 89 of no new debt. No utility bills are late. We have food and our rent is paid.

I have a cold and we had money to buy lemons at the corner store and we boiled them up with honey for a cold remedy.

Getting to work later today and going to automate more work.

I work in computer programming. I have to write hundreds of programs. Of course, I look for more efficient ways of doing this such as automating what I can. I am paid a decent salary for this work.

Struggling with paying bills without further new debt

I have about 73 days without incurring new unsecured debt. I have closed all credit cards. My overall debt is at it's lowest in about 8 years. I am seeing real progress. I am better able to know my own behaviour.

I am at a slight risk for diabeties

I work long hours and probably am not eating enough at work. I need to put more canteen money in my daily spending plan.

I have worked a whole week of work and a little extra on Friday.

I have worked a whole week in my office job except for Thursday when I went to see a psychologist to talk about conflict resolution and some stress from volunteering as a first responder. I feel good now on Friday and I started on Friday to work longer days to get an extra day off next week using flex time.

I chaired a self help meeting tonight

My self help group had it's annual general meeting tonight. I chaired the meeting of about 50 people.

Friends, networks, high school, work.

I have a handful of Internet friends on an e-mail list and a few other mental health lists including some academic lists with professor and grad student friends I may meet in real life at conferences and may be share a meal or conversation, some real life friends and former coworkers, I mostly talk to now via facebook. Some friends from the punk scene I talk to daily on facebook swapping cat photos etc., but only get together in real life every few years. I also have sort of friends at work in that my boss says, everyone at work likes me. That’s mostly because in my high knowledge job, I have the correct base education to know how the work should be done often. Now I have to learn management which I don’t have a textbook education in. I don’t really *have* to learn management as I am happy and content where I am on the career ladder and improving my own performance.

Then there are my 12 step and other self-help friends in real life. They are the ones I laugh about being crazy with. We all laugh together. They don’t go online so much or as much and I don’t really facebook them. It’s good too because self-help has high levels of anonymity and confidentiality so does not sit well with the Internet.

As a kid family friends were important now they have faded.

Some high school friends remain and we even strengthen our bonds and I probably meet them the most in real life outside of my daily work interactions.

Yes, I am healthier having work buddies to see every day. Really we need a social life to be well. Medication alone doesn’t cut it enough.

Then again, there are all those crazies who don’t have appropriate boundaries in friendship. It’s bit rude to say that and for some of us any friend is better than where we are now.

Alcoholics rave of “all my friends”. Some of us talk about having no friends. I would have said, that too, until I wrote all the above.

Day 45 of no new borrowing

I have not entered a new loan in 45 days now. This is one aspect of recovery I am working on. I don't intend today to borrow money. It is a day off work and weekends are commonly when I borrow.

I am on holidays and having a good day.

Today is a day off work for me. In fact, I am taking the whole week off work. I am just packing to go visit my parent who is retired in the country.

E-mail support working well.

I sent a few e-mails yesterday describing present problems and courses of action I am taking to solve these problems. Even if I only got well wishes back I find this all supportive in keeping on track to workable solutions.

A nice day off work ends. I went out for evening coffee with some union sisters and brothers

I am involved with my union and the union movement generally. This evening a union member visited from out of town so our local union members met him at a coffee shop. I had the day off work and have tomorrow off work too! In fact, I have the whole week off work as a vacation.

I am working on building more web pages and sites

I have the week off of work and am working on writing more blog posts. I am also building a new web site that is going to be a generic knowledge management web site based on a wiki. I am not sure I am the person to write a generic knowledge site but why not?

Another day new debt free. Day 39 seems to be over.

I was tempted to buy a replacement battery for my laptop on credit. In asking about it with the company I found the price was a lot lower now and I won't need to borrow to afford it. I was also tempted to borrow to buy a mountaineering boot on sale but hey I work in an office and can't get out to the mountains.

It looks like my month end debt accounts will show progress at debt reduction again this month.

Free online courses

I just spent about an hour and half studying and writing homework in a free online course in science and the humanities. The professor is Bruno Latour one of the world's leading science and technology studies professors. That is not the study of science or technology but the study of the study. So studying scientists and the research process inside society and may be relating science to politics or culture or economics.

Day 37 ends after a productive day at work

I worked very hard today at work. I was solving problems all day in computer programming. My background is in math and computing. I also study law.

I have nine days off work starting Saturday

I have a generous vacation leave plan at work. This year I get four weeks of vacation time. I am taking some time off after tomorrow. I hope to visit my mom in the country.

I have a new computer and Android tablet ordered and they should both be here in a week or two.

In trying not to borrow money I have instead rented and leased equipment. It's day 37 here of no new debt and I am expecting some leased equipment, namely a new mobile workstation and new Android tablet to be shipped soon. I am still considering taking a rented musical instrument back to the store to save on the rental costs and increase the money available for my spending plan. Ideally my spending plan includes renting this guitar and lessons on how to play it better. We can always learn to make music better.

It was a long day at work yesterday

I worked a ten hour day yesterday to make up some flex time. Work will be difficult today. Once I solve a computer programming problem it should get easier.

Coworkers are angels

A sister worker changed my mood today. She helped me get some work done and together we solved a problem. I am feeling fine now at lunch time.

Last Ukulele lesson

I value music. So I invested in music lessons. I really borrowed money to buy the Ukulele and the lessons. Our last group lesson was last night. I enjoyed it and felt very serene coming home on the bus. The nice weather also plays a part in feeling serene.

Lunch is brief

I am home on lunch. I live across the street from my job so come home for lunch. Our union contract guarantees a half hour lunch. I have an agreement with my supervisor to work an extra half hour each day and I take an hour long lunch because of this. This gives me a good mid-day break from office noise and bustle. I can also check in with my partner at lunch and keep her day supported.

The end of a long day 6 PM Sunday to 9 PM Monday.

In this day I practiced music, worked a nine to five job, attending a self help board of director's meeting, played with our cats, played a Massive Online MultiUser Virtual Universe game, kissed my wife and got get some info about a clubhouse she says, she will check out this week for some work. I was busy then wrote this before I slept.

Work day. 1st day of summer today

Today is the first day of summer in the northern hemisphere. The weather here has been sunny for a few days with a little rain. The city is alive with festivals and national aboriginal day. I wished my father a happy father's day on Saturday night by calling him long distance. I discussed his travels in his work and my own practicing of music and how I was learning to read music and practice intentionally.

I am preparing to go to work for the day and after work I attend a meeting at my self help group where we will do paper work and decide important governance issues about the group. This is my last meeting in my elected term and then I have to step down from this role for one year.

Work should go well today as I have a deep education about how work should be completed at my workplace.

Day 34

I am starting  a recovery journey blog here. It's day 34 since I last incurred unsecured debt. I am in recovery from many other problems too besides being a compulsive debtor. Sometimes on the journey one is recovering from one problem only to replace it with a new problem. The journey continues. Peter D.